day 17

7.30pm: Rush out of flat and, once again, forget lunch.

8.45am: Still got a bit of donated cereal left. Hurrah.

8.47am: Whoever puts the daily supply of milk in our work fridge appears to be running behind schedule.

8.49am: Moisten cereal with tap water (insert sad face).

10am: Cheer self up with biscuit. Since several co-workers discovered the Pound Shop's mega-value biscuit collection, the office communal biscuit hoard has been flourishing. Could theoretically live off out-of-date jammie dodgers and imitation chocolate bourbons for remaining 13 days.

1pm: Cereal for lunch. This time with milk.

1.15pm: Cheer self up with three jammie dodgers.

2pm: Edit the food and drink section of South Africa travel guide - essentially a rundown of BBQ-ed meats.

2.10pm: Need steak/sausages/anything resembling meat. Why is meat so expensive? Cows are huge. Surely it takes more effort to create the right balance of artificial chemicals necessary for 9p chicken flavoured instant noodles, than it does to cut off a bit of cow?

2.15pm: Maybe we should just all have our own little collection of live stock.

2.30pm: Could I really eat an animal I had named and reared?

2.32pm: Yes.

2.45pm: Two more jammie dodgers are not doing anything to pacify meat cravings.

5.45pm: On packed tube, with face mere milometers from sweaty man devouring a Big Mac. Eating on the tube should be banned. And why does all McFood smell the same?

6.30pm: Jacket potato with two portions of cheese (and no meat).