8.45pm: Two fried eggs, four crisped-up rashers of streaky bacon, one large sausage, crumbly chunks of black pudding, fried bread (thick and white), fried mushrooms, beans (Heinz), and a generous dollop of Daddy's sauce.
Oh wait, sorry - I mean cold porridge oats out of a mug. Sigh.
9am: Hungry.
1pm: Remembered lunch today - SHOCK! - so heat up remaining rice/tomato mixture in microwave.
1.06pm: Relish the luxury of warm food.
1.30pm: Little nap on desk. (And yes Mum, that is allowed during lunch break.)
1.53pm: Woken up by huge body twitch.
2pm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Absolute. Disaster.
We've run out of Earl Grey teabags. Normal tea is supplied, but pretentious tea has to be bought by us. And, shamefully or impressively, depending on your personal tea beliefs, I only drink pretentious tea.
2.15pm: Find a pot of loose Earl Grey tea leaves a French tea place sent us a while back as a bribe to get featured in our Paris guide.
2.17pm: Formulate cunning plan to hurdle obstacle of no tea strainer.
2.19pm: Make a rip in normal teabag. Pour out normal tea.
2.20pm: Fill empty bag with pretentious Earl Grey tea leaves.
2.21pm: Pinch together ripped part of teabag, and hold over mug.
2.22pm: Pour boiling water over tea bag (and fingertips).
2.24pm: Admire steaming mug of slightly Earl Grey flavoured boiling water.
6.30pm: Go to boyfriend's house and brace myself for a dinner of value fish fingers and wilted white cabbage.
6.31pm: Cabbage is well and truly off.
6.35pm: Get VERY easily persuaded by boyfriend to eat one of his bean burgers (he's a bit posh) instead.
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